What was done to him was like what happens on the train, when you think you are moving forward, but are moving backward, and suddenly find out the real direction.
"Yes, it was all not right," he said to himself, "but never mind. I can, I can do 'right.' But what is 'right'?" he asked himself and suddenly grew still.
--from The Death of Ivan Ilyich
Category Archives: Actual Life
4 inter-related problems
Problem 1: This morning, after I pressed snooze a couple times, I decided to shut my alarm off completely, and sleep until I naturally awakened. However, I am using “I decided” in the loosest sense, and you will understand why … Continue reading
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My dysfunctional Wake-Up Routine
Not having to BE anywhere in the morning has destroyed any stability or habit formation in regards to waking up this year. Waking up these days is a courageous battle of the will. It goes something like this: After approximately … Continue reading
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Images of Grandma
Grandma Inge died when I was 11 or 12. Sometimes she turns up unexpectedly in my dreams. Otherwise, I feel as if the memories of her are quickly dissipating — there is little left besides impressions. What bothers me most … Continue reading
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what it’s like being shot at
I just experienced having a gun pointed at me, knowing the guy was going to shoot. Luckily it wasn’t real, it was a dream. But I just woke up and I remember it clearly. I was in a house with … Continue reading
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another mess
When I write papers I usually fall into the trap of attempting to write something that I want to write. Even more, that I need to write. Here I go again: in the current paper I need to critique a … Continue reading
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